belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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