At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize