yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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