We're facebook friends in real life
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
