Tell her she can't have a vagina
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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