we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
