I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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