In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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