how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I could fuck to npr.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
