last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
