just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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