I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
