i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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