I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
