One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
