I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
