the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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