don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
