So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
