Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
tell me about the fingering
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