yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
