I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
