is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
