I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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