Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
