i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
