Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
