People with herpes should wear stickers.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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