puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
