I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My vagina is officially offended.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
