6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
