We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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