I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize