Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
