First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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