So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
