i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
