I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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