just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
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its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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