ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Are we still banned from the library?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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