just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
