she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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