let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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