I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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