oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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