i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
