I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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