I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize