Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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