I love black thongs
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
