i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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