Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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