You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
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found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
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Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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