Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
