So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
