There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize