You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
